The youth group isn’t the future church, they are part of the church right now!

Light bulb changing jokes, Christian-style

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. (Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.)

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb  A: At least ten, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.  

Q: How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? A: "What's a light bulb?"

Q: How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.

Q: How many members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                       A: One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                       A: None. They always use candles instead.

Q: How many Evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.

Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb A: One. But they are still in darkness.

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

Q: How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                       A: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

Q: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                       A: 109. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 Member church Board, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7-member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.

Q: How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                              A: 4 ladies. One to carefully unscrew the bulb. One to wrap it carefully and another to package it. The fourth to mail it to the mission field.

TRUTH!

by Josh Riles

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ^{John 3:16}     

Let’s begin by doing a word study on Believe. The word used for faith in the Greek New Testament is πιστεύω - pisteuo,(pronounced, pist-yoo’-o). Pistueo / faith is defined as; to have faith (in, upon, or with respect to, a person or thing) to entrust (especially one’s spiritual well-being to Christ) believe, commit to, put trust in. ^{Strong’s Complete Word Study Concordance}

It’s interesting that this definition uses the phrases “commit to, put trust in, to have faith in”; yet, it is so obvious what Jesus was telling us all along. Many “Christians” have tried to base there faith on this single verse but lack a basic understanding of the verse. Many assume that simply knowing that Jesus lived and that he is the Son of God is enough for salvation. But even satan knows who Jesus is: You believe that there is one God. That's fine! Even the demons believe that and tremble with fear. ^{James 2:19}

So what is Jesus really trying to tell us? He is trying to tell us that we must live a life committed to him, that we live a life completely in love with him, a life that tells others “my God is alive and real!” It does not matter if your parents served God, if you’ve been in church your whole life, or if you’ve spent your entire life doing good deeds. If you don’t have a true relationship with God and a personal romance with our Savior then you don’t know what salvation really is. Don’t focus on being perfect in men’s eyes, but instead focus on being righteous in God’s eyes. In suffering, Jesus was made perfect and salvation was made available for all of us.

“And, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him,” ^{Hebrews 5:9}

In closing, I encourage you to seek God whole-heartedly just as King David did. He made some pretty big mistakes but he still loved God with all his heart. A relationship is all God ever ask for.