1 Thessalonians 2:17-20 But, brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. 18 For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan stopped us. 19 For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? 20 Indeed, you are our glory and joy.
It’s been a bittersweet couple of weeks.
A couple months back, I got a call from the drama director of my old church, Happy Valley Baptist Church, here in the Valley. She wanted to know if I'd be interested in playing a part in their Easter drama. It was a difficult part, but one I was pretty familiar with & had already taken on twice before. So after praying about it, I jumped at the chance to act again and to see how the old HVBC group were holding up. Turns out, they're holding up pretty doggone well, thank you very much.
As rehearsals began at HVBC, it was nice to see many familiar faces & some new ones as well. Kids who've grown up quite a bit in just a year and a half, guys who’ve grown out, ladies who grown more....well, ladylike I reckon. For as many things that I noticed had changed, that many if not more I noticed had pretty much stayed the same. I was encouraged to see the whole shebangabang hadn’t fallen to pieces the moment I’d left. :-)
Now, a little bit of back-story. I first came to Happy Valley Baptist in 2001, the week before 9/11 as I recall. It’s the church where I first discovered what it means to be 'led by the Spirit', what it means to truly worship, and also the sweetness of open, confessing, forgiving, fellowship. I was at Happy Valley a little over 5 years and left for The Church @ Lake Harding only upon the direction of God to do so. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but the blessings have been tremendous.
Some weeks back, I was sitting in a restaurant at lunchtime, flipping around in my Bible for some interesting-but-light reading. A few minutes after settling into 1 Thessalonians, something Paul said perplexed me. It was one of those things I'd read a hundred times and just dismissed as a pleasantry, or 'preacher-speak'...kinda like when preachers tell us to go into 'hedges & bi-ways' telling people about Jesus. What the heck is a bi-way? Anyways, the thing that struck me was Paul’s words of affection for the church in Thessalonica. What was with him sounding so-well, so gushy-when it came to writing letters to the churches? Talking about an “intense longing”, “making every effort to see” his fellows, how he “could stand it no longer” but “had to inquire about them”. I used to think it was because he was in serious need of a woman in his life. But as I sat there eating my chicken sandwich & reciting Paul's words, I felt like I just couldn’t identify. I asked God why I had never felt that kind of love, that kind of bittersweet longing to just be in the presence of a body of people I was separated from. About the closest I could come to a bittersweet experience was a band breaking up, or seeing an old girlfriend from years ago. But, never about leaving a church.
Well, this past weekend God revealed what had been there all along- I do have that kind of love & longing for Happy Valley. I didn’t really process the emotions that were coming up at the time, only later putting the pieces together- how much I missed, well, just being in the presence of people I’ve worshipped with before. I found myself trying to hug, greet, shake, smile at & love on everyone I could, not wanting to leave each night of the performance. Of course, I am beyond convinced God has me where he wants me here at Rocky Mount…but still, it was very hard saying goodbye this past weekend. I know this is probably no new ground for many of you reading, but before Happy Valley I'd never really had a church I felt such a connection to. Part of it was because Happy Valley was the first church I'd not left because of burnout or dissolution, but because God just called me elsewhere. Another part of it was because Happy Valley was the first church I had pushed all my chips in and wanted God to use me up completely to serve & help others. Leaving that kind of connection behind, that feeling was very new to me.
One of the things I began to notice & appreciate were the friendships which I discovered were always there, but I had taken for granted. The people I had seen week in & week out for years and never really engaged personally, just due to my own busyness & tendency to stay in the simplicity of my own little clique. These relationships took on a whole new importance to me this past weekend when I realized my time there was limited. As each performance signaled one less time to see my old family, I made every effort to shake every hand, hug every neck, and encourage & love on as many as I could. I guess a part of me never really left Happy Valley when I followed to where God led. And I think that's the point. We're supposed to give everything within us, leaving a part of ourselves behind with every person we can. For me, part of 'dying daily' means I have to not be comfortable with mere pleasantries, with no assuming my immediate peers will always be there, but to fully engage & appreciate them.
At the beginning here, I said the past couple weeks were bittersweet, due to being back at Happy Valley Baptist. Sweet because of being back ‘home’, bitter because I wanted to stay. This past Saturday night, I would have stayed all night fellowshipping, crying, worshipping & encouraging. I would have enjoyed that very, very much. Would that Saturday night & Paul’s lesson to me would be but a glimpse of what eternity has in store for us all with Christ & each other.
So I learned a couple things, which I will now put in a neat little devotional-style set of points because I'm such a corporate player...
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1. I'm learning over and over again that earnest relationships are the only real currency in this world. Maybe the reason we as the body of Christ, don’t feel more alive more often, is because we’re susceptible to numbness. Numb from lack of stretching, reaching, encouraging and being vulnerable with others. Life is personal, and we should commit to live it that way. I'm convicted that sometimes it’s been too easy for me to let go of friendships, to be comfortable losing touch with those I haven't seen in a while. And that's a problem I pray God helps me to remedy.
2. I'm learning friendships shouldn't be limited to my dichotomous definition of 'inner circle vs. acquaintances’'. I need to accept everyone as a friend and accept each friendship on its own merits, not try and limit its potential by what I feel the relationship should be. As they say in golf, 'play it where it lies'. Every circumstance with every new person I come into contact with is the first step toward an eternal friendship, if I will but allow it to be.
3. I'm learning that Jesus never encountered a stranger, because He never let Himself be a stranger to anyone. Be it my closest confidant, a brother or sister from an old church, a high school classmate I've not spoken to in a decade, or a waiter I've never even met before, they all deserve my attention & love. Like Jim Eliot once said "Wherever you are, be all there".
4. Don't ever let a feeling of responsibility to a system, a church or a group distract you from the call of God on your life; to wherever or whatever God calls you to, do not hesitate. It may make for many a goodbye, but you can't experience the bittersweet reunions such as I was honored to experience these past few weeks, without heeding His call.
“Wherever you are, be all there.”
...for the sake of your own heart, as it was designed for larger stuff than mere drudgery & comfort, but to soar above the Grand Canyons of His Purposes. (Jeremiah 29:11)
...for the sake of others, who need the beauty & connection that your unique spirit has to offer.
...and most importantly for the sake of Christ, that every connection we make be conduits of His mercy & love into the hearts of His people.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” - John 17:20-21
May the Lord Bless You All,
Jason
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